well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I smell stomach acid.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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