I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Can you bring me the toilet please
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
