"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
