I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
