i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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