What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
where are you?
Hypothermia
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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