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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  I love milkshakes.

  (210): View more from Texas

  Not the point.

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.

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• (216): View more from Ohio

  Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce

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• (801): View more from Utah

  You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?

  (650): View more from California

  I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (660): View more from Missouri

  I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.

  (1-660): View more from Missouri

  THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital

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• (607): View more from New York

  I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?

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• (925): View more from California

  I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Ok. That just sounds baller.

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• (808): View more from Hawaii

  i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.

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