Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
He corrected my spelling during sexting.