I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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