He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
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But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
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I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.