Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
is that a dick in a sweater?