the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
