Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am

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(610): i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am http://tfl.nu/0mrv

Replies (6) Good night (4943) Bad night (883)
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(785): View more from Kansas

Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?

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(785): Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin? http://tfl.nu/3vvd

Replies (5) Good night (3506) Bad night (746)
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(949): View more from California

Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life

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(949): Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life http://tfl.nu/meh0

Replies (12) Good night (4145) Bad night (1003)
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(650): View more from California

i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.

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(650): i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating. http://tfl.nu/do4w

Replies (4) Good night (3406) Bad night (957)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice

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(931): please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice http://tfl.nu/enb2

Replies (7) Good night (2977) Bad night (897)
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(217): View more from Illinois

So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.

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(217): So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world. http://tfl.nu/kbv9

Replies (18) Good night (2472) Bad night (1648)
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(914): View more from New York

She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?

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(914): She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable? http://tfl.nu/73t2

Replies (4) Good night (2672) Bad night (672)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?

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(+44): He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day? http://tfl.nu/3a44

Replies (14) Good night (3529) Bad night (612)
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(562): View more from California

When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.

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(562): When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid. http://tfl.nu/iodi

Replies (5) Good night (1365) Bad night (762)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.

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(570): I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk. http://tfl.nu/odgi

Replies (5) Good night (1302) Bad night (491)
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(512): View more from Texas

Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.

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(512): Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb. http://tfl.nu/pyo6

Replies (4) Good night (1385) Bad night (919)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.

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(423): I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time. http://tfl.nu/nl7k

Replies (5) Good night (695) Bad night (340)
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(+61): View more from Australia

who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive

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(+61): who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive http://tfl.nu/gln7

Replies (0) Good night (805) Bad night (319)
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(602): View more from Arizona

A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway

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(602): A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway http://tfl.nu/aupy

Replies (0) Good night (542) Bad night (271)
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(903): View more from Texas

I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.

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(903): I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything. http://tfl.nu/fkro

Replies (4) Good night (471) Bad night (312)

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