I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
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We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
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OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks