so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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