You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
