Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just had sex on a roof
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
