One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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