it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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