if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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