I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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