so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
being pregnant is like rehab
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
