with your own penis?
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
