WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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