and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
