She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
