how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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