My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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