Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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