I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize