You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize