btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
