Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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