Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
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I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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