saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
