alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Randomize
