You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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