okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
