You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
