They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
