I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
