also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
