bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
