Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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