I'm drive I can fine osifer
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
