at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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