But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
