Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
40s are totally the cure
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
