fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He told me they were just razor bumps!
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Randomize
