It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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