you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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