There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
