Your dad touched me again.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize
