i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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