I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
