fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
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My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
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That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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