just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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