We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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