That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize