My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
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