oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize