I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
