The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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