like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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